Lockers
by Carelna
Summary: "Your sexuality? What the hell is going on? When did you become so confused about your sexuality?" Reid wonders about his personal life and Morgan can't leave it alone.


**Hey guys! **

**This is something different. I usually don't write anything like this, but this idea just occurred to me and here we are. It's just a simple(or not?)conversation, but I wanted to share it with you. **

**Enjoy!**

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><p>The silence had fallen all over them. The soft hum of the jet engine and an occasional snort someone made were the only voices still echoing in the small space. All of the lights had been turned off, although not everyone was asleep.<p>

One Spencer Reid wasn't sleeping. He sat staring at the wall and thinking about himself and his relation to the events of the last couple of days. He wasn't sure if it had been a particularly hard case. It had been awful, for sure. Every one of the team had felt like throwing up several times, but at least no one had died. It had been a rape case, a weird one. A group of five, two women and three men, had sexually abused various teenagers and even one old lady who could have been Rossi's grandmother.

Morgan had been angrier than anyone – there had been almost hatred in his voice when he spoke – and eventually Hotch had decided to leave him back at the station when they went to arrest the gang, providing Reid a place in one of the SUV's. He had seen the unsubs with his own eyes during the arrest and he had been surprised, if anything. There had been no regret in anyone's eyes. Two of them even dared to laugh and for once Reid felt like he was on the verge of hurting someone without a proper reason. However, the stern look on Hotch's face had restrained him from going on the harm's way and he had been able to held his composure until the very last second before leaving.

He usually didn't do such things, but this time he knew he had to. He was so mad that he kept growling at everyone and had even thrown a book on the table in so much force that it had hopped off and fell to the floor. That gave him a cue that he was way over his head in his anger and he had to let it out. So, he had headed to the toilet telling Hotch that he would come out when he was ready to. He had locked the door and slid down the wall grabbing his hair into a tight grip and pulling as hard as he dared. He knew that none of it was his fault, but every time someone got hurt he couldn't help thinking that he was a bit to blame.

When he had finally emerged from the toilet his hair messy and his eyes softened no one had said anything related to the case. It was as if they had made a silent agreement not to bring it up, since it had caused so much discomfort to both Reid and Morgan. In the beginning of the flight they had discussed lightly about movies and music, without Reid really participating in the conversation. Even Morgan had been quiet, without bothering to listen to the music.

It was almost midnight already. Reid had checked it in all silence, but hadn't even considered trying to sleep. He knew it was impossible to get any peaceful rest now that there was a flood of thoughts in his mind. He leaned his head on the seat and let out a soft sigh thinking that no one would hear it. Then suddenly, ha hand appeared on his shoulder and a voice asked gruffly:

"Can't sleep?"

Reid winced and then turned around slightly to see Morgan's dark figure, soft from the edges, standing next to his seat.

"No. I just have too much to think right now," the younger man answered carefully, avoiding the heavy topic of conversation hanging over them.

"Yeah," Morgan agreed silently, slumping to the chair that was facing Reid who quickly studied his face. He looked tired but the thin lines of anger had faded and Reid knew everything was going to be alright, even though it might take time.

"I guess you agree with me about that", he whispered lightly and Morgan chuckled.

"I do. I do. But Reid, talk to me. Something's eating you, man. What is it? I mean, you have no personal connections to this case, do you? We all knew that this one would be tough for me, but for you too? That was definitely a surprise," Morgan asked a little too fast for Reid's liking. The younger agent paled a little and coughed.

"What? You think something's bugging me? And you don't think that a bunch of sexually abused people give me a right to be confused?" he attacked harshly, mostly to keep his real thoughts as a secret.

"Whoa, kid! I didn't say that!" Morgan defended himself and shook his head sharply. Reid narrowed his eyes and tilted his head.

"Yeah? Well, it surely sounded like it", he snapped, but regretted it immediately. Morgan was just trying to be nice and conversational. The older man was already getting up in defeat, when Reid let out a deep breath and reached his hand out to push Morgan back on his seat.

"I just… Sorry. It's not you. It's just that… You know, it seems that you all are so sure about yourselves. Who you like, I mean. JJ's in love with Will, Garcia's in love with Kevin, Hotch loves Haley, or loved… Rossi loved probably each and every one of his ex-wives and you love women," Reid explained and then paused for a long moment. Morgan tilted his head in amazement and coughed.

"Where's this coming from, kid? I've never heard you talk about this before? Is this about you coming out of the closet or something?" he asked seriousness creeping into his voice. Reid's eyes flew wide open and he shook his head violently.

"NO!" he cried out, before remembering that everyone else was asleep. He slapped a hand over his mouth and turned to glance around in the plane. Morgan couldn't help but laugh a little before he received an angry glare from the younger man.

"This… you know… This is none of your business! This is about me and my sexuality and… Damn it!" Reid cursed slightly and turned his face away from the older man.

"Your sexuality? What the hell is going on? When did you become so confused about your _sexuality_?" Morgan asked a bit too loudly and Reid kicked his leg demandingly.

"Shush! This is not for anyone else to hear. I mean it, Morgan," Reid called gravely while Morgan tended his hurt leg in frustration. Morgan didn't answer and just gave a sharp glare to the other man. He wanted to hear this and it was better to be good if it earned him a bruise. Reid had gotten his full attention and he was studying the other man's face carefully, looking for any signs that would tell him to get away from this guy.

"I think you will be asking about this until I tell you, so here goes nothing. I've never once in my life been sure if I'm straight or not. Until now it hasn't really bothered me, but this case made me wonder that I might not be normal. Well, of course I'm not normal, firstly because it's very hard to define and secondly, because no one is the same. Anyway, I think most people are more sexually involved than I am. That's pretty much it," Reid explained, but it was clear to Morgan that he was leaving something out. And he wasn't going to let that pass.

"You mean, you think you might be gay? Or asexual or something?" the older agent asked quietly, eyeing the now quickly paling genius.

"No… Not really. I already told you that. I suppose you didn't listen to me," he corrected sternly and shook his head in determination. If Morgan really wanted to know what was going on, he would have to have his facts right.

"I was! Honest! I just don't get it. You're saying something and then denying it. It's illogical."

Reid sighed and drew his hand over his face.

"No it's not. I just… Everyone else seems to be more interested in their sexuality and making love and stuff. I don't think I am. I have never really wanted be with anyone like that. Well, once, but that's a whole other story you do not need to hear," he then said slowly not turning back to face the other man. Morgan sat there in silent surprise and his jaw had dropped.

"So… What's the big deal? If you don't want it, it doesn't need to matter anything to you, does it?" he questioned carefully, scratching his head in slight confusion.

"No. No it doesn't. It's just something that everybody does, you know. I feel like I'm stuck in the boots of a third grader!" Reid exclaimed almost angrily. He held out his hands in front of him and studied them, obviously not wanting to look at his friend. It was Morgan's turn to shake his head, but Reid interrupted him sharply.

"It's not like I care about being different, but the fact that I can't really tell in which locker I can put myself, is frustrating. You know, my world has always been well organized and clear, and… I'm not."

When Reid still didn't lift his gaze, Morgan cleared his throat and leaned forward. He grabbed Reid's jaw and forced him to look at him.

"Reid, you don't need to be able to define your sexuality or be involved sexually to be something remarkable, or be a good guy for that matter. And I think you're both. It doesn't matter if sex doesn't mean anything to you. It doesn't matter if you might fall in love with men rather than with woman. It doesn't matter if you like both men and women. And it certainly doesn't matter if you can't put yourself into a locker. Not everything can be defined. No, I don't want to hear any statistics about it! You just need to learn how to love yourself as you are. I love you and every one of the team loves you. Your mother loves you! Henry loves you! That should be enough. You don't need to know who you want to love before you really want to love someone," Morgan said strongly locking his eyes with the younger man. There were silent words spoken when they just looked at each other and then Morgan drew his hand off and the moment was over.

"Thank you," Reid mumbled and smiled softly at his friend, who just grinned broadly and leaned back.

"So…" Morgan then said, letting the o grow long.

"What was that 'once' about?"


End file.
